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~
Maureen: "I believe that we (all species) are unique."
I
have loved and shared my life with dogs and nature always. I used to study dog breeds in
the back of Spiegel catalogs and threaten my mother that "when I grew up, I’d
get a big dog". Well, I have: big, small, pedigreed and whatever's. I
am forever grateful for their presence in my life and to be able to share this
other like-minded enthusiasts.
Living in a small, cramped, but
affordable apartment in Lowell, MA, my parent’s choice of dog for me was small
(Chihuahuas, Spitz or little mutts). I had a menagerie of cats, birds, gerbils,
turtles and fish. My choice of a long-awaited family outing was a pony
ride.
Our family knew next to nothing about dog
behavior, aside from what one generation passed on to the next. Like most
families we had our "hidden" rules of family code. There were
voids and misunderstandings, that even as a child, I knew were not okay.
Dogs would poo under the bed because no-one let them out, then they were
reprimanded for it. If they misbehaved, they were tethered to doorknobs
and kicked. Feral kittens would find their way into the sewer.
I still have nightmares about that.
Somehow, the dogs (and me) managed to
blend in, escape and survive the chaos.
Dogs were a safe and soft place to be. I was given a special gift of being
and learning with dogs!
I know that many of you will relate
to the reality of the "imperfect" family because there
truthfully are not any perfect ones. All families have skeletons,
secrets and codes that must be followed, especially during holidays and
family visits. Families get comfortable in homeostasis, a big
psych word for comfort in situations whether they are healthy or not.
Culture, pride, fear and belief systems and shear exhaustion, oftentimes
leave little energy left for positive change. Survival and
maintaining the status quo becomes a habit.
What I discovered long ago is
that there is help, and we given opportunities to change. Without going into detail, certain members of my family suffered from demons
too. It was a
mixture of patterns, behaviors, culture and excess baggage that created
mixed messages and conflict.
Having couselled with many families, I've learned that we all do the best they can with
the skill and energy that we have at any given time in our life.
As adults, we have a choice to
gather information, process, and create change. Change is fearful.
It takes great strength and willpower. I was lucky. I was given the gift of perception,
excellent bounce back (resilience) and dogs! I was gifted with
mentors and role-models that opened little cracks in windows for me take
a peek or open wide. Sometimes, I peek. Other times I leap.
Survival
techniques were learned at an early age as it is by every species.
I learned
how to read expressions and find rocks to skip onto finding my way to
the other side of the stream
before the impending storm. This came in helpful during my 25 plus
years in corporate (i.e. swimming with sharks).
Dogs connect me
to people and pathways that I otherwise never would have found, or at
least that is what I choose to believe. To this day and I hope to
m last breath, I have an insatiable curiosity for discovering something
new everyday. Dogs play a huge part in this, as do
mentors and role models, who find "awe" in simply being alive, nature
and learning.
Through thick and thin, a few panic attacks, depression,
death, divorce, transition and trauma, stuff that life presents to all
of us, dogs will continue to hold a soft place in my
heart. They create learning experiences and connections for me with some
very precious people. Being with them is where I have found my
chose friends, family, peace and, oftentimes balance into unbalance,
back to harmony again.
They say lessons
are repeated until they are learned from generation to generation.
Dogs keep teaching me to never give-up, to love many, trust few and try
to harm none, and to forgive or at least accept things I cannot change.
I consider myself
grateful and privileged to be invited and accepted in the
presence of dogs and their ancestors the wolf. They inspire me to
let go and simply be present.
Suddenly, I can view the world through another specie's
perspective without judgment because that would clearly be a waste of
energy in a dog's mind.
Always in awe, I am honored and
more content when I am
in the company of others who intuitively sense the
same intrigue with dogs, nature and something that is bigger than all of
us. Sometimes, not a word has to be
spoken between two living beings that share this with dogs.
As my
late friend Stella (93) taught me, "it is a "knowing" that
needs no words. As Dr. Jane Goodall shares, "if I had one
wish it would be to see through their eyes (her beloved chimpanzees) if only for a moment." (Reason
for Hope by Dr. Jane Goodall). The late Cindy Fischer, M.Ed., friend and
mentor, author of Pets Have a Story to Tell shares: "I have a heartfelt
thanks to the animals I have lived with and cared for, for teaching me
and making me aware of my connectedness with them."
This connection with dogs
embodies the opportunity to share experiences with others, making
even a small difference and leaving a message that I
am passionate about life and learning with dogs by my side. I have
no idea why. Most times, I can't explain it, although I think I
just tried. That's all one can do and that's
the beauty of life with dogs. For dogs, I will do whatever I can to lessen
their burden through awareness, education, relationship and well-being.
~ Gary
Ross:
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Co-Author
of "the three shalls" Train Your Dog, Change Your Life.
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Masters
in Engineering - Engineering Fellow, Raytheon Company
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Certified
Pet Dog Trainer (family-focused)
-
Licensed
Team Evaluator and Instructor
-
Dog
Sport Coach (when I'm not playing hockey or travelling)
-
Maintenance Man
I
sort (?) of grew up in a middle class neighborhood one of six kids. We didn’t have a dog,
but we had several cats (less maintenance for my Mom I suppose). There were dogs
all over the neighborhood, some nice ones and some not so nice ones. While
delivering papers for 8 years, I was able to develop a ‘special’ bond
with some of them. Like I said before, there were some good dogs and some not so
good dogs. It wasn’t until I met Maureen that dogs truly became an integral
part of my life. I quickly found out what others have known for millenniums.
If you fall in love and the woman has dogs, you better learn about dogs quickly,
because they are STAYING. That said, dogs are really something else. I wouldn’t change a minute. The dogs have
shown me such grace, compassion and unconditional love, helping me through my
good times and bad. Dogs have taught me that getting bit can hurt,
especially if caught off-guard.
The dogs have also afforded me
the opportunity to meet people who I never would have met otherwise. You guys
know who you are. We’ve traveled all over the world, and you always meet
people who care about dogs. I remember walking outside the London Zoo and
asking a gentleman exercising his Terrier if he had ever watched "Dogs with
Dunbar". Needless to say he had, and he never missed a broadcast.
Dog people are really interesting (I
think there’s a book in there somewhere). Like our dogs, we come in
all shapes, sizes and colors. We don’t always agree (and some of those
disagreements are legendary), but if we’d only take the time to step back, we’d
realize that we all want the same thing … what’s best for our dogs!
Now, I have to go clean the litterbox, which I forget to do. Not
a good thing ...
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